wasting time

i am so goddamn good at wasting time. seriously, i wasted like the whole day doing nothing.
i mean, if i were to spend the whole day chillin and relaxing, i guess that is still fine..
BUT! the fucking problem is i didn't!
I actually slept through the whole day...i woke for like 10 mins? and continued sleeping till 5pm.
was supposed to finish my essay draft today!
and am supposed to shoot more photos for tomorrow!
BUT BUT BUT! until now, NOTHING! NONE!
and i've been in this roller coaster mood.
now i'm kinda pissed.
FOR NOTHING. omg, like i don't even get myself?
I can't stay like, calm and peaceful and happy. wtf.

now i'm freakin wasting time again...
fml.
the only thing that's been active the whole day are these thoughts in my head.
running running runnin around around about.

today i'm restless/ as usual

i guess i've been feeling pretty lost and down for these past few weeks
it's like reality suddenly just hit me
and i have no idea how and what to do

actually school is pretty suckish now
ive got TONS AND TONS of work to complete
and essays to do
and research research research

i love researching
it makes me feel all tingly and high, like...
and i get all these awesome ideas in my head
this always makes me be all hyper and
i cant sleep, i cant sleep when i'm this excited
but i'll most probably get tired from all the excitement
and i'll want to sleep

sleeping makes me forget all my ideas
which is shitty
anyways sometimes i get this headrush
and its like, i cant stop all the flowing and mixing in my head
and i'll get a terrible headache
and i'll lie in bed for days
and not want to go to school
and i'll feel sick

researching makes me sad too
because most of them are pretty awesome.
so awesome i wanna just stab myself and die.

and this is like a vicious cycle.
maybe i should go to sleep now.
but then, i'm feeling all awake now.

Hi.

 

and where, did you say we shall meet again?